Tuesday, May 1, 2012

OH in Ottawa

If you couldn't afford to HAVE a child,  you shouldn't have had one. --apropos of not buying a Certain Someone an iPad on the grounds that they were expensive

Jay-cues Fartier! Who's he when he's at home? --upon scaling statue at Parliament Hill of Jacques Cartier, the modern European discoverer of our fair nation

My mom is super grumpy today. Something about the moon and her ovals. Blah blah blah. -- informing the waiter at The Metropolitaine about why a Certain Someone was sulking over his steak frites

Creepy, dusty stuff. -- critical appraisal of The Canadian Museum of Civilization

THIS BABY JESUS DOESN'T HAVE A PENIS. I THOUGHT HE WAS GOD. -- Renaissance Gallery, National Gallery of Canada

Is that the Prime Minister's car? How do they know we don't have A BOMB?! WE COULD JUST THROW A BOMB RIGHT --  hastily shushed observation about security, or lack thereof, at Parliament Hill

If that guy behind me doesn't stop snoring I'm going to shove Twizzlers up his nose. -- observation shouted while watching Teletoons with headphones on at 37000 feet

You at least have one dollar to spend on your child, do you not? I need a massage. --upon spying the vibrating chairs opposite baggage claim.

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